I want to walk on stilts...naked
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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