I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
