Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
