I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
