the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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