We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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