I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
