ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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