dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
