white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
