wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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