A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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