Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
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So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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