Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
