i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
