you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This baby is an asshole
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
