he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
