p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
