I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
