if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
