Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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