And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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