The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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