okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
