You really coming over, don't trick.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
