well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
