who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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