Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
