Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
