How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
