Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
