Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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