Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Mom said you looked used
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
