I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
