what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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