So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
