Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
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Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
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Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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