guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
