it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize