I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
