Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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