jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
How does one acquire holy water?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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