I'm pants shitting drunk right now
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
