glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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