Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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