Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
