I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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