I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
