make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
