I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize