some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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