I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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