420 ftw
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
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He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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