this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
im about as happy as oj after his trial
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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