She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
