I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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