butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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