You're completely useless in the revolution.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
