The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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