You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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