how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
