thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
