If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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