and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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