think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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