For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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